I'm Mortified by the AKC Rankings

Will the indignities never end? Last month, you may recall, I told you about my “sister” Chris fitting me with false eyelashes after my demoralizing experiences with Coco Chanel, the fancy poodle. Now it’s come to my attention, that an authority no less than The American Kennel Club, has ranked the top breeds of pooches for 2007 and my breed, Bischon Frise, falls far down the list at #32. Not only am I lower than Poodles #8 and Beagles #5, but even lower than tiny little Chihuahuas #12. Even the common Cocker Spaniel and Boxers are rated more popular than my breed. Apparently the folks at the AKC haven’t met me, if they had gotten to know the “real me” I’m sure they would not have made this grievous mistake. I’m considering sending my registration papers back to the AKC as a protest against this insult.
You’re probably wondering who came in “numero uno” on the list, well it is the Labrador Retriever, oh give me a break. Sure they’re smart and friendly, but do they look good with antlers, bunny ears or false eyelashes.....I don’t think so. Though I’m disappointed to finish so far down the list, I’m a little surprised that my life-long friends Lady, April and Laddie Renshaw, the Westies, came in even lower at #35. My friend, Skamper Green, the Papillon, finished at #36, gosh, he’s the smartest “guy” I know!
If you’d like to see the entire list you can go to www.akc.org and check it out. My dog friends can take some comfort that we didn’t finished at the bottom of the list like the Otterhounds #156 and the very last on the list, English Foxhounds #157....I can’t imagine anything not to love about an English Foxhound, unless of course, you’re a fox.

Check out my new eyelashes

Ya know, every so often you’re going along in life feeling pretty good about yourself and “wham” along comes a day that shakes your confidence. Actually, I’ve had a couple of humbling days recently. Pat and Mike, friends of Mom and Dad, have come into my shop with their “cute little poodle”, Coco Chanel (Mom and Dad’s description, definitely not mine). Coco is small (meaning thin around the middle), very feminine and exceptionally well groomed; three attributes I’ve aspired to but haven’t acquired! I’m a Bischon Frise, I never have been, nor ever will be, trim through the middle. My family has always come to my defense when people comment that I’m overweight – do people think I can’t hear them? My people say they like me this way, it’s just my nature, Bischons are thick and sturdy. I’m not very feminine either but I am quite photogenic. And the grooming part isn’t much fun, I’d rather people didn’t fuss with me too much, all that brushing makes my eyes water. I felt a little like a “has been” each time Coco left, so Chris tried to cheer me up. She had some fuzzy stuff she’d cut from a scarf. She added double stick tape and made me a fantastic pair of false eyelashes (sexy photo, huh?). I must have really looked cute because everyone who saw me went on-and-on. They acted like they’d never seen a dog with false eyelashes! I got so much attention that I left them on all afternoon. I heard favorable comparisons to Tammy Faye Baker and Zsa Zsa Gabor – those are fancy names just like Coco Chanel. Now I have my confidence back!